Rancid spinning santa

Happy MLK day. I had no work and the kids were off school today. Since I was home I let each of the kids invite a friend over today – only one ice pack total had to be applied to a forehead (and it was Megan’s) – I think that counts as a success. While the kids were all playing I decided to bake some of my favorite oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I never bake them but it seemed easy enough. I mixed everything together – it all looked and smelled fine, and threw some cookies in the oven. They came out and smelled a little funny, so I tasted one – not so good. So, I tasted another one, not so good. I let them cool and tasted another one (well, what would you do?). They still tasted funny…so I called Christopher over (hee hee – what would you do?). He confirmed that they didn’t taste so good. I bake two more batches…of course sampling as I go…they’re not getting any better. So I call Beth at work.

Me: I baked some cookies and they taste funny. Do you usually use the butter flavored Crisco?
Beth: Yes…wait…what butter flavored Crisco?
Me: The stuff in the cupboard behind the flour and sugar.
Beth: I didn’t know we had any butter flavored Crisco.
Me: I’m looking at it right now.
Beth: I think that’s old.
Me: Uh….(looking at bottom of Crisco)…uh…April 2006…
Bing dictionary: rancid = having the strong disagreeable smell or taste of decomposing fats or oils
Me: Grrrrrrrrr

So…dumped all of that out and started over with the good Crisco (if there is such a thing as good Crisco). My mind has made my belly ache ever since and every burp reminds me of the rancid Crisco cookies I ate…yummy!

Before the cookies, I started my day by baking some bagels. I got the book “Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day” for Christmas. I baked some bread a few days ago and the same dough can be used for bagels. So I mixed in some raisins and cinnamon and sugar, Megan helped me shape them, we boiled them, and then baked them. Not that I’m bragging, but this bakery stuff isn’t so hard…I think some of the local bagel shops had better watch out because when Megan and I put our minds to creating some edible works of art there is no stopping us…beauty (taste?) is on the inside…

Bagels. Yes, those are bagels. Yes, they are. Really. Yes, really, bagels. Shut up.

Orca wasn’t so happy with Christmas this year and she made her feelings clear…

Orca: Yo santa, who do you think I are? What up with the lame presents you left me?
Santa: Kiss it
Orca: You best back out’ my face b’fore I bust a cap in your silly-ass face
Santa: Punk *ss cockapoo
Orca: Hope you get a bad case of the Jingle Bowels fat man. Time to throw down.

Here’s Orca going for a ride with Megan. Megan must have spun her 30 times before I put an end to the fun. Mean ol’ daddy.

And, not only has our pampered puppy taken over Megan’s chair…(this is where she sleeps all the time)…but now Christopher has started covering her with a little doggie blanket…frickin’ lap dogs….my future manly chocolate lab (named Taco) won’t be caught dead sleeping in a pink Princess chair covered in a doggie blanket 🙂

2 Responses to “Rancid spinning santa”

  1. Grandpa T says:

    Too bad about the chocolate chip cookies. I hope you are feeling better. I suppose they do put dates on things for a reason. Mom is always checking dates, but I usually go by the green fuzzy test. Maybe I should watch a little closer myself.

    As long as you’re satisfied that the bagels were a success, I guess that’s all that matters. I hope Beth’s parents don’t see that picture, or maybe there’s a reason they had you operate the pie gun and wash the pots.

    What’s with the Orca lingo?? I hope you don’t allow her (or your children) to listen to that rap “stuff.” Thirty times – I wonder if dogs get dizzy? Was Megan able to find out? I’m curious now – “come here Casey” – I’ll let you know. Chocolate lab – is another canine in your future or are you just dog dreaming? The Kosofsky’s just got a new pup – an 8 week old black lab named Sophie. Sarah brought her over so we could meet her. What a cute puppy. When they “walk” her she’s usually in their arms. That won’t last for long.

    We had a nice MLK day. Katherine and Sarah came up Sunday and spent the night. We had a birthday pizza party for Katherine Sunday and Daniel, Jackie and the boys came over. Sarah is really walking well and keeps us moving making sure she’s exploring the right things.

    Better go and get around for work. I go in at 2:00 and get off at 11:00 pm. Thanks for the update. We always enjoy them. Remember to keep checking the dates and I’ll do the same.

  2. Katherine Diedrichsen says:

    Ugh, rancid cookies… I always thought you were pretty smart, but you had to eat a half dozen before believing they were bad… and you subjected Christopher to them too!
    Orca looks like she’s going to throw up in that picture… too funny.
    It was great talking to you the other night.

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